Click here to read the (prettier) web version. I spent the first 30 years of my life in a cage. But no-one else could see it, much less free me from it. It was a long, slow crawl to freedom, but I made it in the end—and it was worth it. Now I help other people achieve their definition of freedom and success in a matter of days—and I want to see if I can do that for you through this post alone. But first, let me tell you how it all started for me…
My earliest memories are of asking "why?"—in precisely the way a dedicated truth-seeker should. But there was no context for that kind of questioning in my English small-town culture, so my deepest curiosities were dismissed. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get anyone to tell me why they were placing so many rules on me. So I struggled through 7 years of primary (junior) school before, on arrival at secondary (high) school, I found something that, by comparison to everything I’d been presented thus far, felt like freedom: I started playing drums. I thought the path of the rock musician would be my escape, but I was wrong. To my surprise, my drum teacher was no different to my classroom teachers, who encouraged me to suffer through dull exam work now in exchange for some vague, abstract reward later. But unlike my classroom teachers, my drum teacher had little power to stop me rejecting his methods. I refused to do things his way, instead aiming directly at my musical heroes and learning to play like them by osmosis. This felt like freedom compared to the classroom, but I didn't know at the time how many levels of cultural rules I’d have to contend with after school. I couldn’t have expressed this at the time, but I knew in my gut that something very wrong was going on everywhere I looked: people were sacrificing their wellbeing for material success—and they weren’t even happy about it! Nonetheless, my broke, miserable, diabetic teachers had no problem telling me how I should live my life. But once I escaped school I found that instead of sacrificing my wellbeing for academia, I was sacrificing it for musical development. I practised for hours every day through my teenage years with no guidance on how to protect my body. And eventually I "sold out", travelling hundreds of miles around the UK each weekend to play cover tunes I hated for very low pay. (Social media wasn’t a thing back then—the only way to survive as a musician was to play the gigs that were available.) Approaching 30, I couldn't play for 5 minutes without my thoracic spine feeling like it was on fire. My shows were like torture, and the drives home were even worse. So even though I tried to rebel, I couldn't escape the cultural trend of sacrificing wellbeing for success. Even among the rebels: the rock and jazz musicians, the "suffer now/reward later" dynamic was inescapable. This attitude was—and still is—so embedded into our culture that people didn’t even know they were trapped in it. Now, you may know someone who's achieved material wealth and security by putting themselves through hell. And that person may be very well practised at displaying pride in those achievements. But most of these people can't be alone with their thoughts for even 30 seconds. In exchange for their "success", they twisted themselves so grotesquely out of shape that they can't even imagine what true satisfaction feels like. (You know the kind of satisfaction I'm talking about: the satisfaction that depends upon nothing—that cannot be attained, only revealed in stillness and quietude.) Of course, our parents and schoolteachers couldn't have conceived of the world we live in now. That's why they presented us with such a narrow vision of life, and encouraged us to hide within its boundaries. Even as they saw the internet begin to revolutionize global culture, they were afraid of the unknown. That's natural. But that doesn't mean we have to continue to subscribe to their outdated world-view. In fact, our brightest future demands that we don't… In 2024, you no longer have to sacrifice your wellbeing to acquire wealth. Of course, if you're someone who wants to amass as much money as possible, no matter the cost, there'll always be the option to work 16 hours a day. But if you're someone who just wants reasonable material success, good news: I'm proving that you're more capable of doing this when you put wellbeing first. I already made 6 figures online with zero stress, and I'm going to prove that it's possible to do 7. But how? Well, let's pick up where we left off in my story…
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So how did I get from teaching people music for $40 an hour to teaching people how to change the world for $300? I’m going to lay it out for you…
The first thing you have to do in this process is the thing everyone finds scariest. I was the same.
You have to stop what you're doing.
I know it might feel like everything will fall apart if you do. But I also know that if you're resonating with the earlier parts of my story above then what you're doing currently isn't working for you.
So you need some kind of practice that helps you to stop—in the broadest sense.
For me, it was first Alexander Technique. If you can find an Alexander Technique teacher within an organization called the Interactive Teaching Method then I strongly recommend visiting them. But if you can't, you're not lost.
My study and practice of dharma and, later, nonduality, was arguably more profound. Though, of course, I can't separate out the effects these 3 disciplines had on me. It was an intense 5 years studying them all.
But let me make it simple for you. To begin with, just do this guided meditation of mine.
Once you've found some space—in the mind, in the heart, on your calendar—now you can begin to reconsider the pieces of your life.
Here are some potent journal prompts to help you with this:
Answering these questions honestly will remind you of your core values. The degree to which your life circumstances involve compromising on these values is the degree to which you must change if you want to achieve real success, fulfilment, satisfaction.
So now it's time to make some real changes.
What does your current life look like, compared to the life you illustrated in question 5 above? Write about the differences if you need to. Then plan—in baby steps—for how you're going to change your life to the ideal one you visualized.
Perhaps you're in a job that has no progression right now. Or perhaps there's progression, but it's out of alignment with your core values.
Perhaps your partner isn't ambitious and wants to settle down already. Or perhaps you never really felt the two of you were as compatible as you'd have liked.
This phase in people's journeys in typically difficult. On that Alexander Technique course I took, there was a trend among trainees: around the second year, a shocking number of them would break up with their partners. This was because it was in that second year that trainees started to change a lot. So they grew away from their partners.
If that hadn't happened to me, I'd never have broken up with my ex and met my wife. A good outcome, but the change was still hard at the time.
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If you've been reading my content, you'll know I'm a strong advocate for what I call the purpose-based business model. In this model, myself and my clients use the leanest, simplest, easiest means to:
It just so happens that, right now, the best way to do this is through social media—X in particular, where ideas are king. If you want help starting or growing your purpose-based business, click here.
Once your heart, mind and circumstances are aligned with your gut, you can look to the future. Way into the future. Check out my previous post on how to design your 50-year purpose-based business plan.
Once you have your plan, all you have to do is take one baby-step at a time. If you ever feel confused or overwhelmed, the solution is simple: break the current phase of your plan down into smaller steps.
Of course, this all requires a lot of high-order thinking and proactivity. This is why I always do this important work in the morning, when everyone else is in bed and distractions are minimal. This time is sacred. If you feel you don’t have this time, it’s vital that you create it—somehow, somewhere. You must be ruthless with your calendar. Axe an existing obligation and deal with the fact that someone’s not gonna like it. Pay someone to clean your house or mind your kids for a while.
The reason most people don’t do this is that the work I’m talking about here is important, but not urgent. It’s easier, in a way, to just start putting out fires from the moment you wake up—to do what everyone else wants you to do. Why? Because then you don’t have to think. You’ll live your whole life in a reactive, rather than a proactive state. And yes, that might seem easier day by day, but it’s a ticket to severe regret on your deathbed.
There’s great benefit in choosing and aligning with your heart mission. Not just for you, but for the millions of people you can benefit. Don’t let them down.
This step is often neglected, but it’s very important:
The winner effect is a well-known psychological phenomenon, which proves that when you acknowledge your successes, you prime yourself for more of them. Sadly, our culture programs us as children to do anything but acknowledge our successes. It punished us when we failed, and rewarded us for “taking part”. That’s a damaging duo. For growth to occur, failure must be framed as a learning opportunity, and success—though it doesn’t have to be grand—must be genuine.
So you must take matters into your own hands:
This activates positive reinforcement, and it will change your whole freaking life.
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this post, it’s that there’s no real success without fulfilment.
We’ve all heard the stories of miserable millionaires.
If it did, every rich person would be fulfilled, content, satisfied. Everyone who had money would feel successful. But they don’t.
You must decide what your definition of success is, then go after it without compromise using the steps above.
If you need help with this, I’m here to serve you. This is what I do with my existing clients, who are all awakening to the deepest truth of their being—then building their purpose-based businesses on that unshakeable foundation.
To explore whether doing some work with me is right for you, click here. We’ll explore some questions about where you’re at and where you’d like to go, then see if teaming up would help you to get there quicker.
With love from my desk,
dg💙
master your mind, monetize your knowledge. realize effortless wellbeing and create scalable income without leaving your couch. 1 actionable insight every saturday morning (in 15 minutes or less).
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